Thread: My situation
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Old 02-11-2011, 04:29 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
buttercream
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 71
Hi CP and Welcome!!!!

If you are concerned about his drinking, then I would venture to say that there is probably something worth being concerned about that. Obviously, something about it worries you and that is enough!

Alcoholism is progressive. He may even be drinking now more than you think. If he seems to have issues with drinking, its likely to get worse over time.

Many of us have been in your position of being the alcohol police and begging and pleading our loved ones to quit. We have heard the promises to stop and have watched as those promises are broken.

From this experience, we can tell you, with certainty, that trying to control what he does will have a negative impact on YOU! You will start to feel crazy. The bottom line is that you cannot control what he does, and you shouldn't try. He's an adult. If he wants to drink, he will drink, regardless of what you say or do. For your own good, stop trying to control the situation and detach from it. You will find more peace when you stop trying to control something you can't. Let him make his own choices.

Turn your focus to YOU. What you can do for you is figure out what is acceptable to you and what is not. You can set your own boundaries. If YOU don't want to live with someone who drinks, YOU can leave. Thats a boundary.

We spend so much time focusing on our alcoholics and what they are doing or not doing that we lose ourselves. You can choose to be happy regardless of him. And I hope you do!! You've got a lot of life ahead of you!
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