Originally Posted by
Tuffgirl 
I have wondered the same thing, especially recently. I am on mild anti-depressants, and I mean mild - like the lowest dose possible and I cut those in half. I think acute stress leads to selective memory loss.
Or we're just getting old.
I'd rather call it stress!
I just read that prolonged stress creates more memory loss than acute stress. This is interesting, because living with an alcholic is prolonged stress, and acute, I assume, is just the drama occurances.
Getting old? Huh? We're just getting going!
Originally Posted by
jamaicamecrazy My memory loss involves not being able to remember all the times I cried because of his drinking or how angry I felt all the time. My husband recalls word for word conversations when I was mean to him. I just remember the good times and how much I miss him now. What is wrong with me?
I think my mind is playing tricks on me. Apart from him, I don't remember the bad stuff as well as the good stuff. Then something triggers a memory of the bad stuff, or I have contact and hear the controlling condescending attitude, and it comes rushing back. Nothing's wrong with you--it's probably just that you're not around it daily anymore, and you're listening to that part of your heart that misses him and dismissing the bad that happened.
Originally Posted by
zrx1200R Yes. Compartmentalization is the official name. the memories are there. You just locked them away in a place your subconscious mind doesn't want you to find. In time, they will come back. If you want them to.
But if there is nothing really there worth remembering, why go digging them up.
I have few real memories of the last 20 years. I'm not saying it was a black out. I'm only suggesting many people in our circumstances box up the bad times and file them away.
My father, who doesn't live with an alcoholic has a phenomenal memory. I will start talking about something from years ago and he has almost perfect recall. As we discuss the event, I will then remember it just as clear. It's just that I can't access the files.
Just one more of the things those of us living with alcoholics share.
Yeah, I felt badly though because I wasn't remembering some things about raising my kids, details, daily unimportant stuff.
Then I remembered where my focus was--always on him. Naturally the brain would store more memories of where the focus was. Not good that my focus was on him instead of spread out across all the people and concerns in my life.