ZRX1200r,
I truly feel for you. I have read many of your posts on this forum and I know you are in a tough situation. The events you just described are what most alcoholics do, period. They would tell you the sky is green if they thought you would believe it. I had so many coversations with my STBXAW telling her "please just tell me the truth. I can handle things much better if you just tell me the truth". Never worked. Not once. She lied about drinking, lied about going to AA meetings, lied about going to work, etc etc. It's heartbreaking and drives you insane because you truly are powerless. In my case I felt that my STBXAW had plenty of chances at recovery and I was very supportive for many years. But for me, the bottom line is any relationship, especially marraige, is built upon trust. I felt like I was trying to build something on a pile of sand. Like everyone says, they will not recover until they are ready, regardless of husbands, wives, children, parents, friends, coworkers,etc. Every alcoholic's lightbulb moment is different and all you can do is take care of yourself and your kids. I wish you luck.