It kinda sounds to me a bit like you are still feeling you can somehow control the disease. By talking, discussing, confronting, looking for evidence, repeating yourself until you are hoarse. And I'm with naive, having her call you when she has the urge to drink isn't a great idea (for either one of you). She needs to have a recovered alcoholic to talk to. That, of course, is her choice, too. Is she attending AA meetings?
I'm glad you have your plans in place to move on. I hope eventually she chooses to recover. She isn't more hopeless than any other alcoholic, from what you've said. If she has her heart in it, she can do it. But it has to be her choice, and she has to want it with all her heart.