Expecting an alcoholic to tell the truth is like expecting a cat to bark.
She can stop drinking, but she has to want to stop more then she wants anything else - more then you, more then your kids, more then the house.
Until she stops, it does not matter how many reasonable conversations you have. Her actions will protect her addiction. Every time. There is no other way it will ever be. When I finally excepted this in my heart I began to expect alcoholism - and all the lies and deceit that goes with it. I expected the cat to meow. And the cat did meow. Once I was no longer spinning around the cat expecting it to bark I had an enormous shift of mental energy. There was more clarity, more energy left to figure things out within myself.
Not that it was all easy peasy and smooth sailing but aligning my expectations up with the truths of alcoholism was certainly an important shift for me personally.