You are looking for ES&H. My story is that I had a baby with my ABF, not knowing he was an alcoholic (too new in the relationship although I'd known him through high school but boy did I learn fast).
I went through a pregnancy with an abusive man, lived another year that way under his roof and his control, learned about Al-Anon through our alcohol/relationship specialist and spent another year with only me in recovery. His bottom came soon thereafter and he went to out-patient rehab and AA. In total it was 4 years of living hell. I left him 1 1/2 years into his recovery and 4 years of us in counseling and our daughter was 2 1/2. It was a painful experience to realize the fantasy/dream wasn't going to happen. It was also the best thing I ever did for myself and my daughter. He is still in recovery, 2+ years sober. I still wouldn't consider him someone I'd have a relationship with again. He can be my daughter's father but he'll never be welcome in my life in an intimate way. I do not regret anything I've done. His addiction brought me to Al-Anon. I can't exactly say I'm grateful for him yet, but maybe someday. However, I am grateful that I found this program of recovery. And hopefully if our daugher needs it someday (on either side) we will be able to steer her in a direction that will help her to live a peaceful, serene sober life.
I hope you will find the answers you are looking for through this program. I wish you peace and serenity. You will make the right decision for you and your daughter when you are ready, whether it be stay or go.
Peace,
Jen