Littlefish . . . I hear you and I understand. I have a tendency to use the words 'lets' 'us' 'we' in my everyday life (I own a business and it is 'we' that make it all work) because that's who is involved here - she and me - we. It's the 'royal we' when I use that word 'lets' - but her self-discoveries and therapy are not something I feel the right to also know unless my wife decides to share some of it with me.
But I'm glad you made it clear anyway. I think it's important to illustrate.
My words still must sound like we're going to do this together without outside support. NOT true . . . We're going to do this separately - her battle being the toughest - and mine for my potential need for survival. Support? She'll always have that from me. I just need to know when to be compassionate and when to be tough as nails. The books and the reading for MY lessons here are different, to be sure.
That will seem to be as hard for me to be tough as it is for her to be sober . . . Tough love isn't easy. But the strong and the experienced are here for the new . . . So I'm well on my way to survival. I won't be dragged. But in my gut I feel like this is a new chapter for 'us' rather than a closing of the book.
Let me have my enthusiasm . . . but please continue to temper it with warnings, skepticism and objectivity. There is no yin without the yang . . . all things in balance.