Old 02-09-2011, 09:35 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
wifeofaRA
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lodi oh
Posts: 1
[QUOTE=JayR;2856519]This may well be the most painful and difficult thing I’ll ever type . . .



My life, as I knew it, is suddenly upside down and I am frightened like never before in my life. As I sit here wide awake at 4:30am – after, perhaps, a 90 minute sleep – my head is spinning with ‘what-ifs’ and questions about my culpability (if any) in helping create this situation. I am fearful for my wife taking her own life. I am fearful she will choose the bottle over her marriage. I am frightened by the possibility of life without her.


I can't begin to tell you how many moments I felt the same thing. The sleepless nights and the fear. Even now when my RH has just a little bit of a bad day I begin to fear all over again as if he is active. So I continue to repeat the Serenity prayer over and over and talk to my higher power and just try to make it through that moment. Sometimes the moment passes easily and other times it feels like I cant get it out of my head. I have never been able to and will never be able to control his actions. When they say Love is not enough they truly mean it. Your love for her isn't enough to get her better. It has to be the love for herself. I pray everyday that my RH will love himself enough.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Remember to say the serenity prayer and stop after each line and think about it.
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