First I want to say that I liked what someone said about the word loser, being something someone lost, i.e. loser vs. losee. But that is my analytic side. My feeling side is thinking: Hmmm, used to call my exAB a loser very often when he was active. In fact, I'd add to it, "Why don't you have another one while you're at it, ya loser?" Luckily I found A-Alanon and don't say that anymore.
I think a loser is someone that has caused their own demise and can't see the forest for the trees to do a thing about it when the answer is so clearly in front of them. They basically won't help themselves. (I now know that is a/k/a an addict/alcoholic but I didn't know that then). That is what that word loser meant to me at the time (BA = before Al-Anon). That is why I said it to him time and again and yes, it was definitely in anger and contempt. Maybe as a way to "wake" him up. Didn't work. Glad I've stopped doing that. Definitely a little shamed that I ever did. Guess I'll put it on my amends list.
I guess now I would say I use it in the form of losing a game but not so much as a direct insult to a person that I am so tempted to pass judgment on. I still do it sometimes but I'm trying really hard to be more aware when I do. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Peace,
Jen