Hi Inquirewithin, glad you found this forum and keep coming back because you will find support and ideas of how to respond to and love the alcoholics in your life. I am grieved and concerned for you and your situation and pray for the safety of your children and your wife. Many people here also go to Al-anon meetings which are group meetings with family members of other Alcoholics. So I can only suggest you find an Al-Anon meeting and fast. Al-Anon is a wonderful place to find support from those who are going through similar issues and will help with the pain. You can check it out on-line or find a local number in your area to get more info. They have great free literature to read too. You need to look after your sanity and well being. Do this for yourself or you will be no good for your kids or your wife. God bless