I drank too as a coping mechanism while with exah. It was how our courtship was formed--around alcohol. I too thought we were newly divorced people cutting loose.
When I biatched about his daily enubriation, my daughter told me--Mom, he is not the only one that drinks too much, you both do!
That was it for me. That sentence, and I was done. I started tapering off, no more than two glasses of wine, then no more than one, then only half a glass, then zero. I had to give up the fairy tale of alcohol that had become my life.
Last 3 years of the marriage I was sober 95% of the time, and when drinking, it was very light, as I craved, but I could control it. It didn't make the marriage look prettier.
You can do this.