Idul

I felt the need to admit to all of you wonderful people that not only have I been affected by a loved ones drinking, but I have come to believe that I have a problem as well. Below is a copy of a post I put on another board here. Just wondering if anyone else here can relate to developing a drinking problem despite your complete disgust of a loved ones drinking?

"I am a single mother to two amazing children, 5 and 7 years old.
I never had a problem with drinking until 3.5 years ago when I fell in love with an alcoholic. I didn't realize that he was at the time....I just thought we were both newly divorced and cutting loose. By the time I realized he had a severe problem we were already living together and drinking together every night. I focused a lot of my energy on his problem and failed to realize the making of my own. He drank all day and I only drank at night. He vomited, I never did. He wet the bed, I never did. He couldn't get up in the morning, I always did. He drank hard liquor, I preferred wine. I left him in September and he has gotten worse and has been very nasty and threatening. I came to this forum to post on the friends and family section and have received wonderful support there. I am just today feeling brave enough to admit that I am an alcoholic too. I home school my children and by evening I am craving my drink. Every night at seven or eight I open my bottle of wine. The first sip is instant relief. When the bottle becomes half empty a weird panic sneaks up on me. I drink the last drink slowly, scared and sad that the bottle is empty. My kids joke about how much I love wine and it makes me sad. Today is day number one for me. I want to stop. I want to be healthy and present for my kids. We are going to Dinsey on March 11th with my ex-husband (my kids father) and I don't want to worry about hiding my drinking from him. Since February is a short month I will celebrate my 30 days in Disney with my kids! I am sticking to this goal!"