JayR I too am married to an alcholic. He is the most incredible man and father you could ever meet until he starts drinking than he is a totally different person, and not a good person at that! I too count beers, mark the bottles, dump the bottles and beers out, but have learned this does not work. No matter how many beers I dump they seem to reappear and he denies having "spares" hidden.
I have lots of work cut out for myself, but am learning that this is HIS problem not mine. HIS embarrasment not mine.. By going to Alanon I am learning how to take care of me and my kids....
You need to be strong for you and your own emotional well being! This roller coaster ride will wipe you out if you dont take care of you!