Please do be careful about leaving..it is the most dangerous time due to their lack of having control over the situation..all that stuff on the DV website is no joke so following a safety plan is a great idea. I used to work at a womens shelter and I just wanted to point out that even when abusers stop drinking, most times the abuse doesn't stop..it is definately considered two seperate issues (alcoholism and abuse) that sometimes overlap.
As for the guilt..I put my 18 year old daughter out on the street due to her addiction and refusal to get help. I wasn't "helping" her at all by giving her a place to live, warm food, etc while she actively tried to kill herself.It is not your responsibiltiy to take care of a sick person, it's their s and theirs alone.Good luck.. be safe