Old 02-08-2011, 10:39 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
brokenheartfool
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 344
I too believe that your wife should consider AA, without you in the room. Alanon would be for you to learn how to take care of yourself and stop controlling others--Codependent no more is an excellent book you might consider by Melody Beattie. Almost everybody on this board has read it and seen themselves in it.

Think of a person going to a psychologist and having their parent or spouse there. Not much honesty and accomplishments will occur if you are looking over her shoulder.

She is still her own person, and she still needs to combat this disease on her own, in her own way, by her own volition. You cannot do this for her, or even hold her hand. It's within her to sink or swim here--within her solely, as an independent person, independent of you. It has to come from within her, and her success has to feel like her own success. If she feels it is your success not hers--back to the bottle she will go, and really learn how to hide it good this time.

Definitely continue to be supportive. Give her breathing room though with AA and/or psychotherapy.
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