Old 02-08-2011, 04:18 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
StarCat
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Join Date: Dec 2010
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Originally Posted by nbunderstanding View Post
It seems a bit harsh for some of the comments that make it seem as if my wanting us to have a family night on our son's Birthday as me not supporting his recovery and AA work.
((((nbunderstanding))))

I think there's a lot going on with those comments.

I think some people are looking at it as earlier in the recovery, as you never stated where he was early in his post.
I think some people were remembering times when their A was going to meetings, and they pushed for a night away from the meetings, and the A used that as excuses to claim there was no support for the A's recovery, or as an excuse to start drinking again.
I think some people were thinking how happy they'd be if their A would just go to meetings.

We bring our own baggage to this forum, too, unfortunately.
Because of this, we're very understanding of many things (we've been there too), but sometimes there's just a topic that brings up too much "stuff" for us to try and be objective.

That's where the whole "Take what you like and leave the rest" comes from, I think. We're people in recovery, too, trying to recover from our own codependency as well as heal from the hurt.
Sometimes it's hard to admit that other people's choices and decisions and lives are separate and different than ours, and there's things that are different that don't relate at all to our otherwise-similar experiences.



That said, I personally feel that given what else you've added, you're doing the right thing. You have every right to celebrate your son's birthday on his birthday, even if it involves skipping the meeting. He has every right to decline, and attend his meeting.
As long as both sides respect the other's decision, even though you and he don't agree, you're doing great!

:ghug3
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