TakingCharge999

I sometimes mourn again and get hurt AGAIN for the Nth time remembering stuff or with my imagination about XABF and new GF. XABF got a drinker for GF as well. Went to live with her. If I start going there, in my mind, I go mad with pain.

Something that works for me is imagining myself as a little girl and put the pic somewhere I see it. Then when I start with the self torture, bring the little me to mind and ask myself if I deserve that pain. If that small girl deserves to feel that pain.

Helps me stop the obsessive thoughts.

Therapy has helped me tons as well.

PS I get the feeling of not having anyone tell you "you are doing alright" and acknowledging all the hurt... acknowledging our side of the story. Lately I am starting to recognize my own strength and my intelligence and qualities, as I do this I find I no longer need other's approval or comments. Also, I get the feeling of them "partying as usual". It hurts. BUT now with a little bit more distance and seeing others get drunk in social occasions, I just think its very very sad. Love and happiness cannot grow & thrive in such situations. At least not the love and happiness we can imagine. Don't lose hope. We are walking together...... towards a more peaceful place... for US...