Originally Posted by
Rechellef 
For those who have had success, how do you make sure that the addict is not lead to believe that what he is doing is okay while still maintaining a loving, calm, normal demeanor?
I did not do this very well at all. I was critical of her, condescending, and pretty much a complete ass. But, after Al-Anon I was able to see her differently, set boundaries around her drinking, and enforce those boundaries (which ultimately led to divorce-- though we are together today after two years apart).
Speaking of Al-Anon, I don't believe I'm allowed to tell you what to do here, and I wouldn't anyway because it's not my deal. I will tell you that if you go to Al-Anon, you will find your answer. I'm certain of it.
Take what you want and leave the rest.
Cyranoak