Welcome to SR.
Originally Posted by
sprman24 
ya i understand that. But why is everybody telling me, i have to give up on him,...
Because you have a chance to make a better life for yourself. Many of us had alkie partners as boyfriends/girlfriends and unfortunately chose to do what you're thinking about doing. Years later, some of us have mortgages, children, bankruptcies, violence, suicides, deaths and ongoing mental problems of our own. All this because we stuck around and waiting on an alkie.. For me, this is a very serious topic and it's incredibly hard to say what I'm about to say. I have a wonderful son with my AW but if you wind back the clock, I would have left her immediately. I can't have my cake and eat it too. If I turned my back on my AW years ago, my son would not be here. Then again, there would be no son who would have to grow up in a household with an alkie. His mom. In many ways I feel extreme guilt for bringing a child into this environment and under the conditions found in my home. So this is why many people have 20/20 vision and are suggesting that for the better, you leave him now before you get in too deep. It's gnarly business and it brings everyone down.
Originally Posted by
sprman24 why dp people say most likely no recovery? I mean out there a hundrets of Alcoholics, they made it. I mean if u had a problem, would u like it, that everybody turns the back on u?
All I can say here is that the closest person in my life, my AW, turned her back on me. I do have a problem and it's because of someone's alcohol addiction. Right now, the only person who can solve my problem is me.
Originally Posted by
sprman24 I understand those tough love thing, but i don't get why i should leave a realtionship, and look for somebody else. Should i not at least give him the chance to go the rehab and see what happends after.
Nothing wrong with waiting to see what happens. Then again, re-read what I wrote about my son and consider your options. The difference will come when you start learning to make things happen for yourself instead of waiting to see what the alkie does. It's a completely different mindset and it's not easy. Leaving a relationship with an alkie but worried about finding someone else makes me assume that you need to learn a bit more about yourself. Keep reading and you'll find stories of people who got away and found out they really love themselves and their lives are far better for it.
Originally Posted by
sprman24 And with the military, well i don't think they would kick him out right away. He is really functionl drunk. Never is to late, goes to work and does a good job. But the last 2 month, were ruff, because the doctor took him off work, for Depression. So i hope they don't kick him out.
The term functional drunk has been discussed here at length. In the end, it's still Drunk. What is functional? Can he write his name drunk or can he do brain surgery drunk? It's very subjective and burns tons of energy debating it.
You'll have to work out many of these things on your own. I can only relate my own ideas and experiences. I wish you the best. Keep writing and keep reading other stories.
Finally, remember the 3 Cs.
You didn't cause it.
You can't control it.
You can't cure it.