Hi Sprman24 and welcome to SR,
I continue to live with my active AH of 22 yrs. We met at 15yrs old - 30 yrs ago. We have a life together, two daughters and many happy memories that it is difficult for me to let that go.
I too have struggled with people on SR who say to leave the alcoholic, as I choose to stay. An awful lot of Al-anon literature talks about staying with the alcoholic but learning to detach and to live with the disease whilst making sure that you try to lead a healthy life for yourself. Sometimes SR reply's are more focused on leaving the alcoholic and if you are one of those who choose to stay this is hard to accept.
Unfortunately no two cases are the same. Some alcoholics are much worse than others. Some wives/husbands are easy going, some are fraught and unable to cope. Some leave due to abuse/violence, both verbal and physical. We have many on SR who have had to leave their alcoholics due to the simple fact that they realise that their partners wouldn't provide a healthy relationship even if they were sober.
I choose to stay but find it very difficult even though my AH isn't that bad (whatever that is). He works hard, long hours, does a lot around the house, cooks and cleans but drinks everyday and falls asleep very early in the evening. I sit on my own most evenings. I have attended AL-anon, psychotherapy, counseling and suffer from debilitating stress and anxiety. I have had a couple of uncontrollable rages too in the past few months that have left me feeling mentally drained and have just been prescribed mild depression medication.
Staying with an alcoholic is not easy and many reading what I have just written would say 'why are you still with him' and they would be justified, dont you think?
Many who say to leave on SR are coming from the standpoint that you could save yourself many years of pain. They also know how much happier they feel now that they are no longer living with active alcoholism.
Of course it is your choice to stay or leave, as it is mine and no one on SR can make that decision for you. Keep reading, keep posting, go to an AL-anon meeting, read 'Co-Dependency No More' as suggested, the more you learn and know about the disease, the easier it will be to make the right decision for you based on your needs and wants.