I know change can be frightening, the thought of it sometimes paralyzing, but I have found at times in my life where circumstances, that are so intolerable have come to be what I regard as not so bad, or even normal because it is what I have been used to and have trained myself to accept because to change, presents the 'unknown'. The unknown can seem so much worse than already terrible.
You have always read to me as an already single mother to your 6 children while your husband was living with you. What would be so different with him completely out of the picture?
Are you not living in a State that requires a spouse to pay child support? Were you not pretty much on your"own" emotionally when your husband was living with you? Didn't you drive yourself to hospital during your last pregnancy?
I understand you want the best for your children Moni, but what is the best for them? It isn't living IN a broken home. As far as marriage goes, It is not a failure to leave a marriage when it does not offer, love, emotional support, physical and emotional safety.