Hire an attorney. Hire a PI or an anon friend, one that he doesn't know, to follow him to these meetings and support socials with the 12 step people. You might be surprised what you learn. See if allowing him primary custody of the kids while you are in school would be advisable. The attorney will tell you. The reason why his taking on the kids might be good for you is that it would give you more free time to focus on your studies so you can create a good life for your kids, time for you to get in shape, develop a support group of friends because divorce can be tough and basically give you more time to be the very best person and mom that you can be. His taking on the kids five days a week might also slow him down from making bad mistakes, like moving in with some rebound relationship or dating. If he is really is serious about recovery, he should not even consider being in a relationship (outside of yours) for a couple of years. Don't do what a lot of women do and hold on to those kids so you are assured of their love when your d*ck of man bails. Alot depends on the laws of the state in which you live. Men don't tend to leave one boat unless they have another boat lined up. Meet with a good attorney immediately take one steps are necessary to protect you and your kids. Your man is out of control and a d*ck. Be amazing (not generous) and in turn he will regret his dumba** choices. By the way, your man is a jerk royal. Wish the filter on these posts would allow me to use profanity because I would use words that would make your hair curl when describing your idiot man.