Hi and welcome to SR.
Everything is possible.
Just because I couldn't do something
doesn't mean it can't be done.
Your experience is your own.
There's been a couple of posts today
saying that when they read the forum
it seems everyone encourages people to leave their relationships.
I think it's something else.
I personally don't think that's the case.
Other than, the odds are very high against success....
we are a gambling species.
BUT -
what I think it REALLY is -
and I can only explain by metaphor:
When I feel like I've gained weight
(we all have those days)
when I feel particularly... fat ...
it seems like everywhere I look
all I see
are bone-thin women.
I think when we are focused on something we know is true
and are not able to do anything about immediately -
I think we unconsciously focus on whatever that is
in a sort of 'everybody else can do it but I can't' thing.
All that does
is makes us feel separated from all others.
ANd even more unhappy.
Saving a relationship that's in shambles due to alcoholism
learning how to deal competently with an alcoholic
who is lost in their disease
is exactly like trying to lose a hundred pounds
with no preparation no training
and no change.
Some people can do it -
you see them all the time on television...
but how many do you KNOW... who did it?
I think it's exactly the same factor in human nature.
JMO.
Anyway - welcome to the forum -
you'll make plenty of new friends here
and hopefully find some answers.