sprman-I too have a hard time with all the folks who tell us to get out of the relationship. I keep thinking that if alcoholism is a disease I promised to be there "in sickness and in health". However, what I have had to come to realize is that if I decide to stay, I will always be an alcoholic's wife. He may never get sober, he may have relapses after relapses. Is that the life I want for me. I think it is good advise to think about your life 5, 10 years in the future. Will you be angry that your life is no better or worse than it is now? Al Anon has been very helpful to me. It helped me stop worrying so much about him. Also, when you are talking to people in the meetings no one thinks you are a fool because we have all done that-believed every thing our alcoholic said, picked them up in the middle of the night, bailed them out of jail, cleaned up vomit and urine...things our friends and family will never understand. It is important that you think about yourself and how to take care of you. I know it is hard.