Originally Posted by
LexieCat 
Actually, they don't. Step Twelve merely calls for us to carry the message to other alcoholics and to practice the principles in all our affairs--which includes our relationships. Nothing about neglecting family responsibilities--which would, in fact, be something for which one would have to make an amends. Tradition One talks about unity in AA groups--IOW, my "right" to recover as I see fit should not step on the rights of other AA members to recover using the Twelve Steps. "Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity." It has to do with cohesion in the group--it says nothing about neglecting your family, your employer, or anyone else who isn't part of the group.
My point is that the steps, promises and traditions are about how to live your life. And people are told that the steps are necessary to live their life. Yet nothing in the steps tells people that they must learn how to have healthy relationships and that real life needs to be prioritised. An awful lot of marriages end when the addict joins AA. As high as 25%. Certainly some marriages will end naturally with sobriety. A person may get sober and realise that their marriage was not right for them. But no other recovery method results in anything like as high an amount of failed marriages.
Originally Posted by Learn2Live
I'd be curious to know what studies? Because I am in successful recovery from alcoholism and I have never even HAD a spouse. I'm not buying it. You don't need a spouse to recover from anything.
Nobody said you needed a successful spouse just that having a supportive spouse is the most common factor of recovered and recovering alcoholics, please don't twist what I'm saying.
The importance of a supportive spouse in recovery was a big part of the conclusion of a wide-ranging study carried out by scientists at one of the world's of the most preeminent centre's of medical science, Harvard Medical School.