...without sobriety there is no marriage. think about it. there is no anything. and, as hard as this is for us codependent enablers to accept, sometimes it's absolutely true that our alcoholics can't recover with us, especially when we aren't working a program of our own.
it's easy to get righteous about this. it hurts and it isn't fair. but it is the ways it is.
take what you want and leave the rest.
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by
LexieCat 
I disagree with FO's assessment of AA's "priorities", though I certainly defend her right to her opinion.
AA doesn't require anyone to "pledge allegiance to the Fellowship". Sobriety MUST be the priority or there will be no healthy marriage. To the extent (and only to the extent) that working with others helps to maintain healthy sobriety, that must also be a priority, but not to the exclusion of spending time with one's family and attending to their needs. If an alcoholic is doing that beyond the initial phases of recovery (when a certain amount of familial "neglect" is sometimes necessary), then he or she is not living a healthy sober life.
Certainly some alcoholics screw it up and use AA as an excuse to neglect their families. That is WRONG, and unless they get address it, they are likely to drink again.