Welcome to the SR family!
You have found a wonderful source of information and support. I encourage you to read and post as much as needed.
You have been through so much. You are not alone. We understand. You are at a point in your journey where you are aware of the things that have gone on around you. Now you are at the stage of finding acceptance, then comes action. (Three A's of Recovery: Awareness, Acceptance, Action)
I found this website, my Alanon Group meetings, and self-help books to be very helpful in guiding me along my recovery journey. I have had to learn to be patient with myself. It took time to get into a life that was unmanageable, and it is taking time to get my life back. Please be patient with yourself during the process.
I always find wisdom in the permanent (sticky) posts at the top of the forum pages. Here is one of my favorite posts:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html