Thanks everybody,
L2l, I felt I’d failed because I slipped into the old trap of being agitated by the compulsive behaviour.
At this stage I should be able to detach from that and admit my powerlessness over it.
I slipped and I made a remark about it to her.
I hope it’s just that I've done a lot in the academic side of recovery and now I have to put it into practice in the real world of sharing a live with someone in very early recovery.
Intellectually I can accept I cannot control but years of Codie behaviour compel me to act or speak.
I will try harder. I recite the first step to myself like a mantra: it seems to help a little.