it is so hard to deal with it
Hey all,
i read alot in this forum, and i think there are so good advises.
But sometimes it is so hard, to really do, what people say.
Shortly to my story. My boyfriend or what ever I should call him, is an Alcohilic.
When i first met him almost 2 years ago, he didn't know that he had a drinking problem. He is a soldier and we went alot out together. Sure we had a few beers, but not so many, that i would have thought he has a problem.
After a while i realized something is wrong with that man, and then the family told me. Well i didn't know much about Alcoholism at that time and ya sure i tried to help him. Well helping was all what i did. And i know it was not the riht help, i picked him up in the middle of the night, after a night out at the bar and so on. Well ya i even bought beer for him and so on. I know all of that was wrong, but it takes a while to understand that. The whole relationship is an up and down.
Anyways, after alot stress and searching for help for myself, i made some rules. No drinking in my appartment, no more picking him up, no more buying beer etc.
Well two month ago he went awol and was gone for a few days. Finally his family and I found out where he is. His family lifes around 1400 km form here so it is hard that they can help. So i went, picked him up. I brought him to the ER because he was sucidle. They keeped him for 2 weeks in psych there.
Then they said the military should take care of it. I did good for a few weeks, but the military didn't do anything. He lifes since then at my place and is off work, because of Depressions etc.
But then he started drinking again. Not in my apartment, but he goes out, spend all his money and then he comes home and expect me, that I am not mad with him. Well i told him, when he is drunk, he should maybe go back to base and sleep there, but he never does it. I was so close twice to through him out. But i can't. I think it would hurt me more then him.
I don't know how to do it right anymore, he went to detox 2 weeks ago, and the first thing after detox, was drinking. I wonder why he goes. He said he knows he has a problem, he was a few years sober already, but then he relapsed and he always says he likes the pain. He wants to go to rehab but on his own time. I shouldn't pressure him into it.
Honestly, i really love him, he is a good guy and a happy drunk. He is not getting abusiv or so. Well he gets depressed sometimes, when he drinks, and then he feels bad, that he did go drinking. Next day same thing. That goes that long, til all the money is gone and then he has usally to wait til the next payday.
I lost over all that, already a few friends. Because they all tell me, he is bad, he is not good for me, and ya is just a bad person. Well i don't think so he is sick. Anyways some of my friends want not even talk to me no more.
I don't want to give up on him, but i also don't know what i should do or think.
I am stressed out, can't sleep, got depressions and everything.
My birthmother was an alcoholic too, maybe thats why i try so hard.
But i have the feeling nobody really understands me.
Oh welll/////
Sandra