((((Lilly)))) I'm so sorry to hear all this. Your son was the one who woke up and drove to work drunk, was arrested and blew a pretty high number, right?
It was really hard for my husband to realize that not only was he not the only resource for help for his son, that he certainly was not the best. We went through periods of horrible treatment at the hands of "Jr." Death threats, vague suicide threats, horrible verbal abuse. What we have come to realize is that we are not responsible for what Jr. does, how his day is going, wether or not he has a roof over his head, he's 29 years old.
One thing that I have heard on these boards that really hit home.....do you love him enough to let him hate you? In other words, "tough love" is tough for us (as Cynical One would say).
Hugs and prayers as you make your way through this. More folks will be by with far more experience than I. You did the right thing by making him leave. If he had stayed, he would have endangered your other children, would have brought the rest of you along on his destructive ride if you let him.
Please take good care of you and your other kiddos!!! All of you and your son will be in my prayers.
HG