I have nothing really to add but to say that you should be proud to have been strong for your family and your husband. I should know, because I am the child of your exact situation a generation ago. My mother endured embarassment from the rumors of why 'he' left, supported and nutured her family with no economic support. The thing I will always respect was that my mother never said a bad word about my father in front of me. I know now that she vented with her friends, but not in front of me. To this day I do not know how she got through it sane, but she did.
Vent and grieve, but be strong for your kids, they will always respect you for it.
Toss