I'm sorry to hear that this is happening.
Putting up with his business for 20 years makes it sound like you're a very strong person. Perhaps that's all I can say to you at this time.
Stay strong.
Keep posting. I know there are people here who've been there done that and may have something useful.
For me, I embrace my anger. I don't act on it but I fully stand behind it! It makes me strong when I'm feeling weak.