Hi Hailee...
How are you today? It's FRIDAY! TGIF!
Re: your AB watching your infant after not drinking for 4 months...my personal view on this is No. Friggin. Way.
He is clearly unable to control himself. He is clearly not in recovery. He's just a dry drunk. Would you trust a stranger who just happens to be a dry drunk to watch your child? If not, then what makes this man any more special or competent than a stranger to watch your child?
Regarding boundaries...it's time to reflect. Start thinking about what is acceptable to you and what isn't. It's different for everyone. For me, the first and most important boundary was this: I refuse to give XAH money to buy booze. It took a lot for me to assert this, but once I did, he never asked me again to pay for his alcohol.
My second boundary was: I will not be verbally abused, whether by phone or email. If I am spoken to with anything but respect, I will cut communication and walk away. This one was harder because at core, my XAH was an abusive man and he fought hard when I refused to play the role he had scripted for me (the role of victim and punching bag). Eventually though, he got the message...and so did I!
So what are the things you simply refuse to accept in a relationship, whether romantic or otherwise?