Originally Posted by
stella27 
I rarely failed to assert myself, but it always ended in big, ugly, knock-down, drag-out fights. He was never able to accept anything I wanted or wanted to do. It had to be his way and he would fight with a scorched-earth approach for his path.
I was so exhausted from having to defend myself all the time. Things are truly so much better now without the constant conflict and the fear of always being yelled at.
lol. Yes, I am quoting myself.
I just realized that I conformed by giving him the fight that he was always looking for. I let him pick fights with me and I always fell for it. He would request or demand things that no one in his right mind would - just to be in a power struggle and set me up as the bad-guy authority figure, and I always fell for it. For 15 years. Until I learned to detach. Then he became even meaner and more hostile and wanted out. Because I wouldn't play.
I hate that I allowed myself to become aggressive and defensive in response to his manipulations.
What an eye-opening discussion!
