Good God, I want to reach into my screen and hug you.
You are so brave to come here and look for answers. Yay for you!
Please please please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Talk to a counsellor. Ask if they can refer you to a shelter in your area...or maybe a little removed from your area. If you are being monitored, is it possible to get away to call from a payphone?
1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY)
Anonymous & Confidential Help 24/7
What you describe...it isn't love. You are being used and abused like an object. You do NOT deserve that. You deserve love, respect and equal partnership.
And please do not feel ashamed to come here and talk about what you're going through. A bunch of us have been somewhere close to where you are. I wasn't pimped out for money, but I was a stripper for over 2 years to support my abusive alcoholic drug-user boyfriend and his son. I'd work my butt off 5 nights a week giving lap dances, come home with hundreds of dollars in my pockets and by morning, it was all gone. XAH would take it and spend it, because he "deserved" it. So, in a very real way, I get what you're going through.
Please call the hotline. And if you need some help figuring out a plan, come post here. SR is always open.