You say it would be so easy to stay in this, IMO, horrible situation - it would be easy for me to go home and down a 12 pack of beer tonight. If it was easy, this forum would not have to exist. I have chosen to take the best path for myself and my family, not the easiest.
The feeling you have now is one of hope, whether you realize it or not, that you want and deserve a better life. Take care of yourself, because it sounds like he doesn't care for you or himself.
(((Hugs)))
Toss