I lived with a controlling abuser and kept hoping things would change, kept telling myself it would get better. The controlling does not stop, alcohol does not make someone controlling, it only enhances what they already are. I did not think I would get out of my relationship alive. I spent 25 years hoping and praying for him to change. It was I who finally got the courage to change, to stop allowing someone who professed their love for me to control my every move.
My life is so much better now and I look back and wish I had done it so much sooner. I could not clearly see the situation I was in until I got away from it. I have never had one regret leaving and wish you the best, from someone who has been there.