My experience with alanon is mixed too, for the very reasons that you find hesitated to attend.
But, if you go with the plan that you do not simply vent, that you don't focus on the alcoholic, that you focus on yourself and healing, then you will get out of it what you put into it, more than likely.
Interestingly enough, it's not what I say that changes me by going when I do. (and do try several groups because the makeup of people is different and very much affects the whole atmosphere). It's not what I say--it's listening to what others say that helps me, very similar to reading on here.
Besides, you just might make a friend or two that understands.
And...we don't always realize just how traumatized we are. We think we are so strong and don't need the support of others. I have made this error. No man is an island.
Pushing ahead in life with the la la la might just be a form of denial. Maybe you can pull it off--but then, you wouldn't be on here either. So listening to others is helping you, isn't it?
Attending with zero victim mentality--what I think you seek--is difficult, but you can attend with this as your approach and find out what it does for you. Nothing to lose if you still feel it isn't working, and you can always chuck it and attend a writing workshop instead, or whatever your passions are. Maybe do both. One new night out that has nothing to do with alcoholism relationships, and one that does.