Wow...thanks for all the support. Sailor John, I LOVED that you said I alredy have the courae. Just what I needed to hear today. I have been reading and hearing that message a lot lately. That God already gave us everything we need, we just have to realize it. That is part of getting to our full potential.
I totally do the back and forth between good and bad memories. The thing is, some of those bad events are never justified. No matter how good the sober partner is, the drinking just creates unacceptable behavior.
Thanks for listing so many reasons that a life without hime will be better. Even if they are not "tangible", they are reasons that make a better day to day life.