an experiential learning activity which i have facilitated many times involves a group of people moving from one area to another with only a few stepping stones - they have to follow certain perameters but it has always amazed me that although the basic solution is the same the individuals in each group interpret the solution in different ways so the experience is unique to that group - i find recovery to be that way also - there are certain things that have to be accomplished in recovery for it to be true recovery but we all put our personal touch on how that translates into our lives - i have felt much of the same disconnects that you mentioned, atalose, and you have gotten some of the most amazing responses - i hope you find the internal and external connections you are looking for- blessings