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Old 02-02-2011, 11:57 PM
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twinkle1987
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: uk
Posts: 14
Supposed "Fresh Start"...

hey guys, how you all doing? Just need to vent and get some honest opinions please...

Not sure if you remember but i mentioned i had the opportunity of a fresh start at my mums place near London after my ABF dumped me. Im from Scotland originally. Well i arrived last night and boy is it not what i was expecting, especially for still being on crutches for a broken foot.

She told me last week the house needed a "little tlc" which i assumed to be a lick of paint here and there. In reality the house is like a building site and i'm shocked to see the way she's been living for a year +. Theres no carpets, no cooker, no washing machine, two bedrooms but only one bed, no curtains, a stained 2nd hand sofa. The only room with a bed has no door handle and can only be opened with a pair of pliers. Mums sleeping on the sofa. Mum works really unsociable hours so i'll be stuck at home alone with only a radio for company.

I feel like im being a whiney, spoiled brat but i dont feel this is a safe place for me to stay to rest my broken foot. Iv got splinters in my good foot from the bare floors. It's now 7am, was woken up by glaring sun due to no curtains, cried myself to sleep around 3am thinking about everything thats happened over last 2 months. Mums just gone off to meet her creepy bf for a day out, i couldnt face it. I feel she's lured me here under false pretenses. Oh she also announced after i booked my flight that pretty much 2 days after i arrive her and her bf are away on holiday for a week, leaving me here on my own in this strange new place where i dont know anyone. I dont want to be here but feel like i cant tell her as she did come all the way to scotland to collect me due to my broken foot.

I feel so hurt and angry inside. And i feel resentful my ex abandoned me when i needed him. Right about now he's sitting getting waited on hand and foot in our old home by his co-dependant enabling family. He broke his own ankle couple of weeks ago after usual storming out to get blind drunk. He's now milking it for sympathy after not looking after me properly when i broke my foot badly. For example he wouldnt pick up groceries which resulted in me losing lots of weight when i was housebound. I wish he realised what im going through.

I dunno how much more i can take, i dont feel strong anymore xx
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