Wow. I had to read that twice because its like my own thoughts, and the last few years of my life appeared in front of me. I HATE that I think like that now, I used to be so trusting. I hate what I've become, and I hate what she's become before my eyes.
There are people on here that I'm amazed by, and I think I could be one of those people. But I don't want to do it 5 or 10 years from now, when my life becomes a sh!tstorm of vodka (or whatever the "flavor" of the month is) breath and puke cleanup detail. Heh, I just described the last 3 days. Joy.
Thank you for your insight, OP, thats the single most inspiring, mind-blowing, wish-it-wasn't-about-me-but-it-is post I've ever read anywhere.