Good morning!
I'm good today (so far
), thanks for asking nodaybut2day!
I just got back from my first Al anon meeting...I'm doing a lot of reflecting and I'm not really able to put into words what I'm feeling yet...It was amazing...It felt so good to be with people who understand, because they have lived it or are living it, what I'm going through...I've really struggled (with my friends and family) with feeling like a complete idiot for even being with ABF but I don't today...What really hit home today is that I CANNOT change him at all...I can only take care of myself and my kids and control the way I react to him and in that he will either fall over, walk away, or stand up straight...Obviously I pray that he will stand up straight but I know that I will be okay regardless of what happens...The other thing that kept being repeated in the meeting today was "Let go and let God"...I think I'm going to make that my new mantra...I really have no control and today I feel okay with that...I'm pregnant so that could last for the 20 mins or 20 hours and then I will feel a million different emotions but I feel good about it right now and I can't wait to go back to the next meeting...Thank you all for recommending that I go...I had been thinking about going but I tend to really isolate myself and shut down so you gave me a push yesterday and it got me there today...I'm thankful for this site and for the group I met with today as well...