Hey LD,
Let me start by saying you are definitely NOT pathetic, but I totally "get it", as I felt the same a few short years ago.
I second the suggestion for Al-Anon, and the "stickies" at the top of the main page, along with the section here titled "The Best of SR". Here's another good link that goes against everything we've been taught all our lives, about how to "help" someone,
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
All of our "instincts" kind of go out the window when we're dealing with alcoholism, it's truly a different "animal".
Lots of good men on here lately in just your same position, and lots of good wisdom, so I hope you stick around and learn how you can help yourself and your 12yo kid.
Also, is there some kind of "plague" going on down here in Texas? Lots of new "neighbors" coming around lately.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
P.S. You COULD wait till your youngest turns 18, but man, why would you? There's help here and in Al-Anon if you want it.