Thanks reef for bringing your experience to SR. My AH is recently working on not drinking with counseling help and anxiety meds.
We are also trying to repair our relationship but I'm starting to feel it is premature as I work on my own recovery and uncover some of my own issues. One of them being learning to set my own boundaries.
Anyway, I was quite intrigued by what you said about your AW letting you or an AA buddy know about any feelings she might have that might lead her to drink. This seems like a great tool for my AH and something that would help me feel more trusting of his desire to want to stop drinking. It has not come up through our counseling or in his counseling so maybe he is not quite at the point of true recovery.
I was curious why the counselor also suggested for you to be the one responsible for putting her back on track if you saw some of the other behavior - it seems to me it totally negates your AW responsibility to be aware of her relapse potential.
Was it this same counselor who suggested the mechanism for your AW to get through the moment?
The more I (over)analyze my situation with input I get from other's situations, the more I realize how complex it is. AH issues/my issues/alcohol/relationship issues. It might be a good thing that we each have separate counselors and a counselor for our relationship along with alanon and SR for me.