Welcome to the SR family!
Thank you for taking the time to share your story with us. Some of our stories are posted in the permanent (sticky) posts at the top of this forum.
I understand what it feels like to live with an active alcoholic. I was so confused, I didn't know whether I was coming or going. I was exhausted with trying to prevent the next drunken binge and angry outburst. I was always trying to say and do the right thing to protect everyone from the unacceptable alcoholic behavior.
Unfortunately, I was putting all my energy into trying to control the alcoholic and neglecting myself and my children in the process.
Here at SR I learned about the 3 C's of alcoholism:
I did not CAUSE it
I could not CONTROL it
I would not CURE it
I also found wisdom in those sticky posts at the tops of the forum pages. Here is one of my favorites:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html