Hi & welcome...
Sorry to have to tell you this, but I'm pretty sure you belong here.
I know I recognize your story way too well. Every detail of it. Including the wanting to put the spouse on a plane to Afghanistan. Except I was more daydreaming about how great it would be if my husband was in a car accident and died. Yup. Living with an alcoholic makes you think things you wouldn't ever think you're capable of.
First of all -- you didn't cause her alcoholism, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. You also don't have to pretend, smile, and cover for her for the next six years. I think your kids probably are aware that their mom is drunk a lot, and they could probably use some guidance on how to handle it, too.
I would recommend starting by reading the stickied posts on top here -- lots and lots of good information there -- and then, really, considering visiting Al-Anon. I know it sounds silly, but when I was married to a raving alcoholic, Al-Anon was what made it possible for me to retain my sanity and to rebuild my confidence to the point where I was capable of making a balanced decision about whether to stay or whether to leave.
In my case, my husband didn't believe me when I said I'd leave if he didn't get help. When I did leave, he went straight to rehab and has been sober ever since. But at that point, it was too late for our marriage to survive. There are as many ways to live with or without an alcoholic, sober or not, as there are people posting here. And everyone has some wisdom and ideas and hugs to share.
So hang out and talk. I know it helps me, every day.