(((jrlcpl))) she's being forced to deal with her consequences and she doesn't like it. She's going to put the blame on you, make promises, do whatever she thinks she can to NOT deal with the consequences.
I know this because not only am I a recovering codie, I'm an RA. I doubt, seriously, I would be clean if the consequences hadn't been bad and my family allowed me to deal with them.
You're not doing anything wrong. You're protecting yourself and your children from the insanity. I know it doesn't feel good, but it's truly the best for all 4 of you, IMO.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy