K. This is just my opinion.. as ever, take what you want and leave the rest.
The SW put it plainly and succinctly.. your AW is a manipulator (you'll find most of the SO/Family of the people here are/were). It is an art she has perfected over the years. It is finely honed and practiced and is a tool in the armoury of addiction. I say this because, while I think it is right to question the medical practicioners charged with your AW's care, I am not surprised they gave her the pain meds. Having thought about what you have written and what I know having been in the orbit of a master manipulator, I probably would have too. Couple that with the possibility that if they don't respond to a medical need they could have a whole heap of trouble on their hands and they may have been between a rock and a hard place. Who knows, huh?
I'm going to say what comes across to me from your posts. Understand it comes from a place of caring and is in no way designed to hurt or harm you. It is just my take on things.. my ESH, my HO.
You need to stop making excuses for your AW. Say the Dr you refer to did erroneously give her meds, SHE popped them, SHE took them, SHE did this knowing that it was continuing to use a substance for which she was supposed to be getting treatment. Reading your post, I don't see any reference to forcibly and against HER will, being made to do that.. to acquire and take them. That's tough to hear and accept I know. When we're in the middle of the storm as it rages around us and the A minimises the behaviour, we minimise right along with them. We make excuses, right along with them. We look to other people to shoulder blame, right along with them. It is not until we detach, get out of the storm to a quieter place and we start to accept the 3Cs and the A's responsibility and accountability does it become clearer. It's not until we're on the path to recovery, accepting our own mess on our own side of the street and taking the responsibility to deal with it, can we truly see that other people are also primarily responsible for theirs.
I initially railed against the idea that I, by echoing the A's lack of accountability, by ignoring the 'defects of character' (e.g. manipulation) and being, sometimes blindly, on their side standing shoulder to shoulder with them minimising and excusing, was ignorant to the reality of this. It was not until one day I was asked to do a share on a topic.. co-dependency.. did I finally get it. My first draft was awful. I didn't want that label, I didn't want to be defined by it (still hate labels per se).. but I had to accept that, even though I'm not naturally that way.. in THAT situation, I was. I looked at the traits and applied them to my situation.. and what do you know.. they fitted. I had to put my hands up. Mea Culpa. In that circumstance.. I made excuses.
I think, in order to move forward, the 'non-addicted' person needs to stop focussing on what the A is doing, stop focusssing on what you think they need to do to recover, stop focussing on what we percieve as other people's parts in this (their side of the street if you will) and start focussing on our own recovery. That includes asking fearless and searching questions.. of ourselves.
Again, just my ESH/HO. take what you want..
*hugs*
Tx