fulloffaith

new here. have been reading posts for months now (along with going to live alanon). You all have no idea how helpful you have been. My AH of 15 years and I are "seperated" since last may. You all have no idea how much courage and support you gave me to make that decision to have him leave our home. Hardest thing I ever, ever did.
We have 5 beautiful kids (6yrs - 14yrs). They all hurt terribly when he left. He is a very controlled drinker. He has gone through 3 rounds of AA, each lasting a month and giving myself and kids hope that he is getting well and on the road to recovery and coming home.
Unfortunately, I am getting to the end of my rope. He visits daily (not drinking) and spends time with kids. He follows our rule that if he shows up having drank, he will be asked to leave.
I prayed very much prior to asking him to leave. I knew in the core of my being that it was the right decision and it had to happen. I want to stop this cycle of having some hope and then being dissapointed. I have peace that all will work out well weather he is drinking or not. If we did not have children, NO CONTACT would be very helpful for me. How have others who have children and have the alcoholic somewhat in their lives handle the emotions and practicalities of detachment. Any of your thoughts would be helpful. You all do a great job at not letting others play the victim. I did that for too long and want to know the best way to take care of me while also being the loving person that I am.